The Adventures of Mike
Skit 38:
Mike: Ayu is a magical girl! Ruri has a mecha hidden in the Amazon River! When is Aki gonna show up anyways?
*Opening theme: Elton John mix*
*At the night school*
Ayu: Eh? Where am I?
Mike: You're in our classroom at night school!
Ayu: Huh? M...Mike?
Mike: Yeah? Something wrong?
*Ayu slaps Mike*
Ayu: You did something to me while I was asleep! Didn't you!?
Mike: No! No I didn't!
*Ayu slaps Mike again*
Ayu: Don't lie dammit!
Mike: I'm not!
Ayu: Then how did I get here?!
Ruri: I brought you here.
Ayu: AH! Ruri! What happened to the giant yummy?!
Ruri: *Burps quietly* It was...destroyed...
*Mike and Ayu sweatdrop*
Ayu: *looking at the empty seats to her sides* So, how much longer until class?
Mike: Class is already over. The power went out and class was cancelled.
Ayu: Oh...but...why is the room lit so brightly?
Mike: We bribed Emperess-sama to stay with here by giving her Earthian and Gravitation dvds.
Ayu: ...how does that make the room bright?
*Everyone looks at the emperess who is reading mangas with her bishis surrounding her*
Ruri: *pointing to the bishi harem* Bishounens sparkle.
Bishi: Don't hate me 'cause I sparkle!
*Kitsune walks by outside*
Mike: Oh, there goes Kitsune...
*Ayu and Ruri tower over Mike as he shrinks with fear under their gazes*
Ayu and Ruri: WHERE?
Mike: O...outside....please...spare me?
*Ayu, Ruri, and Mike run outside and catch up to Kitsune, who is walking with John and Celes*
Ayu: Kitsune! Wait just a second! *grabs Kitsune by the arm*
John: Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
Ayu: Shut up John! I'm not in the mood!
Kitsune: I'm sorry ma'am. You must have the wrong person, I don't know you.
Ruri: No, you are Kitsune. You just fought against us in the last skit.
Kitsune: No...I'm....Endo.
Mike: WOW! I've got a friend who looks just LIKE you!
John: Really? My name is Tom...Tom Ato.
Celes: And I'm Caeser Salad...
Mike: AMAZING! I've got friends who look just like you guys too! It's nice to meet you, Tom and Caeser!
Ruri: I would deal with you now...but....
Kitsune: *Evil grin* But?
Ruri: Mike is acting so dumb, I feel that he needs the sense beaten into him.
Ayu: Eh? That's a reason?!
Ruri: Well, he...*whispers something to Ayu*
Ayu: WHAT?!
Mike: Eh? What'd I do?
Ayu: YOU BASTARD!!!!
Mike: KYAAA!
*Ayu chases Mike away*
Ruri: Well, then, I'll attend to you later...
*Ruri leaves*
John: Hey, Kitsune, what was the point of all that?
Kitsune: No reason...other than to reinforce the fact that our characters are here and to take up time of those reading...
Celes: Ah...clever....
Kitsune: Not really...
*Back at the Mike-Ayu house*
Mia: Welcome back everyone! We have a new tenant!
Ayu: Huh?! We do?
Emperess-sama: Hello.
Mike: Emperess-sama?!
Emperess-sama: Yes. My room is the one with all the bishis in it. *points down the hallway to the room with blinding light flooding out of it*
Ayu: But...why are you here?!
*Emperess-sama pets Ayu*
Emperess-sama: Don't point out plotholes dear...
Mike: Sigh, whatever, I'm going to sleep.
Mia: Well, I'll go to sleep soon too then!
*Mia skips toward Mike's room*
Ayu: HOLD IT YOU!
Mia: Huh?
Ayu: YOU CAN'T SLEEP IN THERE!
Mia: Why not?
Ayu: *turns red* THERE ARE TOO MANY REASONS!
*Ayu drags Mia toward her own room when Doujin Girl pops out of Mike's room*
Doujin Girl: Good night!
Ayu: HEY! YOU TOO!
*Ruri puts on headphones*
Emperess-sama: What are you listening to?
Ruri: Nature Sounds Vol. 4: Babbling Brook.
Skit 38:
Endo.....failed!
Skit 39:
Mike: Emperess-sama lives in the house now with her harem of bishis that sparkle on command. Endo sure did look a lot like Kitsune though...When will Aki make a move?
*Opening theme: Adolesence Rush*
*doorbell rings*
Ayu: I'll get it...
*Ayu opens the door, pauses, slams the door shut and walks away. Mike walks by and the doorbell rings again*
Mike: Eh? Didn't Ayu open it?
*Mike opens the door*
Mike: Ah....shit.
Mike and Ayu's parents: SON! *huggling of Mike*
Mike: Help! Kyaaaaa!
*several minutes of prying later, Mike, Ayu, Doujin Girl, and all the parents are sitting down in the main room*
Parents: Yay!
Dog: Arf!
Mike and Ayu: Why are you here?
Parents: We came to see how they're coming.
Mike and Ayu: How what's coming?
Parents: Our grandchildren!
*silence*
Doujin Girl: Douji?
*more silence*
Ayu: *turns to Mike* WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING THEM!? *punches Mike across the room and out a window*
Ayu's Mom: No! It's what you told us!
Ayu: Eh?! Something I said?
Mike's Dad: Yes, let's look at it with a flashback.
*flashback to skit 32's flashback*
Ayu: Fine! If you're all homosexual, then...then....I'M MOVING OUT!
Mike: WHAT?!
Parents: Okay. *smile*
Ayu's Dad: It's important for you to have your own room to grow you know...
Ayu: Eh?! Then...then...*grabs Doujin Girl* I'm taking her with me!
Mike: WHAT?!
Parents: Okay. *smile*
Mike's Mom: Oh look dear! She's following in our footsteps!
*Ayu's mom is crying out of joy and nods her head*
Ayu's Mom: And...*sniff* It'll mean more time to play fuckbunny!
Ayu: Then...*twitch* then...*twitch* THEN THE REAL REASON I'M LEAVING IS.....TO ELOPE WITH MIKE! *Grabs Mike*
*end flashback of the flashback*
Ayu's Dad: See? You said that you were eloping with Mike! So how are the kids coming?
Ayu: *utterly red* Uh...*looks around* Ah....well...we decided not to marry!
Mike: Uh...we did?
*Ayu jabs Mike in the side*
Mike: We did! We did! That's right! I remember now! Right, decided not to.
Parents: That's a problem!
Ayu: Huh?
Ayu's Dad: Technically you're still our children...
Ayu's Mom: We still have to be responsible for your well-being...
Mike's Dad: But we could solve that by the use of a proxy...
Mike's Mom: Like Cathloic School for example...
Ayu: Urk...*the blood drains from her face at the thought of Cathloic school* uh....uhm....*looks at Mike*....we just re-decided!
Parents: Great! We'll help with the ceremony!
*12 minutes later, Mike and Ayu are walking down the isle*
Mike: Ayu, why are we doing this?!
Ayu: Cathloic School
Mike: Oh yeah...*shudders*
Mike's Dad: Let's do the short version, Mike, do you?
Mike: Ah, well...uh...*is smacked upside the head by Ayu who leans in close to his ear and whispers*
Ayu: CATHLOIC SCHOOL! Don't worry, Doujin Girl is gonna give us a distraction so we can escape!
*meanwhile, outside*
Dog: Arf!
Doujin Girl: Arf!
Dog: Arf!
Doujin Girl: Arf!
Dog: Times are tough.
Doujin Girl: Douji?
*back to the wedding*
Mike: Well then, *to Mike's Dad* Uh...I do.
Mike's Dad: And do you? Ayu?
Ayu: I....I....I...*looks around for Doujin Girl* Don't....not...maybe.....*blushes* uh......
*Ayu's Mom kicks Ayu in the back*
Ayu: DO-
Mike's Dad: Then I pronounce you man and wife!
Parents: Yay! *throw confetti*
*silence*
Ayu: No! Wait! I take it back!
Mike: I thought you said there would be a distractin!
Parents: Yay! Now go make us some grandkids!
*The parents push Ayu and Mike towards a room off to the side*
Ayu: Hey! Wait! No!
Mike: Wait dammit!
*The parents succesfully push them into the room*
Mike: What the?
*the room is like an Asutin Powers 60s fuck room, only more so*
Ayu: Dammit! *points at ring on her hand* THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Mike: ME?!
*outside the door*
Mike's Mom: Awww, it's their first fight!
*back inside the fuckbunny room*
Ayu: I can't stand it anymore! I need to get away from you! I'm going to the otherside of the world!
Mike: Oh, come on, now you're just being unreasonable!
Ayu: AM I!? WHEREVER I GO WITH YOU, WEIRD SHIT HAPPENS! I'M GOING HOME TO JAPAN!
*Ayu's Mom pops in*
Ayu's Mom: Those wedding rings on your hands will kill you if you go more than 20 miles apart, but you'll get free long distance calls if you're less than 5 inches apart.
*exit Ayu's Mom*
*silence*
Mike and Ayu: DAMMIT!
*loud crashing noicse from outside*
Parents: (outside) AHHHHH!
*Mike and Ayu go outside to see...WANNABE HAXXOR!*
Wannabe Haxxor: It's good to be back! Ever since I was needlessly killed off in skit 10, I've been biding my time waiting for a chance to come back! And now, with Aki's help, I HAVE! MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Ruri: Aki? Who is that and what do they want?
Mike: AH! When did you get here?!
Wannabe Haxxor: Aki has come here...to destroy you all, and TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
*evil music*
*silence*
Ruri: Is that it?
Wannabe Haxxor: Uh...yeah, pretty much...
Ayu: ENOUGH! *glowing red eyes* WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE NEEDED A DISTRACTION?! YOU'RE THE FUCKING REASON THAT I HAD TO GET MARRIED! I'LL KILL YOU!
Wannabe Haxxor: Uh...hey, wait now....just hold on....
*Ayu jumps on Wannabe Haxxor and rips his head off*
Mike: Damn...vicious...
Emperess-sama: Yeah...
Mike: Kya! When'd you get here?!
Ayu: I've had it here! I USED to have a reason for being here, but no more! I'm gone! I'm going back to Japan!
Mike: EH!? Ayu! But wait! The rings!
*Exit Mike and Ayu*
Ruri: This Aki is dangerous...she may be manipulating Kitsune, John, and Celes too...
Emperess-sama: I'll help, if my Bishi's can come!
*Mia suddenly appears*
Mia: I'll go too, this Aki sounds like...*licks her lips*...fun...
*Emperess-sama's bishis sweatdrop*
Doujin Girl: *pumps a shotgun* Lock and load bitch.
Mia: That's it, no more late night action movies for you....
*Meanwhile, at the air port*
Ayu: I NEED A TICKET TO JAPAN! FAST!
Lady at the counter: How fast would you like to get there?
Ayu: By the time the next skit starts!
Lady: Here's your ticket then, bye now!
*Mike runs up, out of breath* I NEED ONE TOO!
Skit 39:
Marriage is Deluxe.....failed!
Go back to the Main Menu
c2003 Naze Nani Productions; Michael Reichelt. Leagal blah blah blah, I don't really know what goes here, just make it up for yourselves. Just know that if you use something from here without my permission that I will purchase rabid dogs and they will eat you gladly. Misu Vena Hanna Hanna Ha.