The Adventures of Mike
Skit 40:

Mike: Ayu is running back to her home in Japan. Mike is following her because of their parents. The same parents who have forced them to marry and gave them wedding rings that would kill them if they were more than 20 miles apart. On top of that, Aki has announced her evil plans. Sort of. Anyways, Ruri, Mia, Emperess-sama, and all the bishis are on a mission to destroy Aki and her evilness. How will this all tie together in time to resolve the issues at hand?
*Opening theme: Choral*
*Japanese Airport*
Ayu: *takes the translation fish out of her hair and steps on it* Ah~! Tadaima!
*Mike runs towards Ayu from the airport* AH! AYU! WAIT! AYU!!!
Ayu: Eh?! Bakabakashii! *Runs away*
Mike: Matte! Ayu!....Ah shit. I know a little Japanese...but not enough to get around the country effectively...
*Mad Scientist appears*
Mad Scientist: Ah ha! MIKE! I'VE FOUND YOU!
Mike: KYAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
Mad Scientist: An old man has forced me into helping him defeat a group of super humans by poisoning me!
Mike: That sounds a lot like Ninja Scroll...
Mad Scientist: Anyways, I have a device for you called THE FISHLATIONER!
Mike: Huh?
Mad Scientist: Watch. *flips a switch* See?! Now everyone in Japan speaks english!
Mike: Yeah right. *stops random person* Excuse me sir, what time is it?
Guy: It's uh, about....ENGLISH! *runs off screaming and is hit by a bus*
Mike: Wow. Thanks. *Mike resumes chasing Ayu*
Mad Scientist: Ha! He fell for the reason why I was here! Now, I must find Illapallazo. I have to give him that message from headquarters!
*exit Mad Scientist*
*back at whatever loaction that story's been taking place at*
Ruri: Rivers turn me on.
Mia: I like bondage better!
Emperess-sama: Sionji likes bondage.
Ruri: We're getting off topic. We don't know where this Evil Aki is. We need to find her, and destroy her.
Emperess-sama: But how do we find her? We'd need a sign from above at this rate!
Mia: I can arrange that.
*silence as Mia prays*
*ruri blushes and moans*
Ruri: A page! *pulls the beeper out of her panties* "Try the old shitai senshi lair - Hideki Anno"
Emperess-sama: Who's Hideki Anno?
Mia: He directed Evangelion. He's acting as temporary god while God tries to figure out Eva.
Ruri: Heh, minimal translation notes.
Mia: What?
Ruri: Nothing. Let's go.
*They all walk towards the lair*
*meanwhile, in Japan*
Ayu: STOP FOLLOWING ME!
Mike: No!
Ayu: Stop dammit!
Mike: No!
Ayu: Stop or else!
Mike: Or else what?!
*Silence as they keep running*
Ayu: STOP FOLLOWING ME!!!!
Mike: NO!!
*in the lair*
Ruri: I'm home...
Mia: I wonder if Aki is really in here...
*timothy appears*
Emperess-sama: GASP! THE TEACHER OF THE JAPANESE NIGHT CLASS!
Bishis: What is he doing here?!
Doujin Girl: I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all outta kick ass.
Mia: When did you start talking like that?!
Timothy: Ah! So you all have found my secret! That I am really a demon from the underworld of plotholes here to consume your souls! FOOLS! Now that you know, I CAN'T LET YOU ESCAPE!!!
Mia: But we only know because you just told us!
*silence*
Timothy: Damn your cunning! You have tricked me into telling you my secret! Now my minions will destroy you!
Ruri: Where are you exactly?
Timothy: Uh...there's lots of water..it makes me want to pee...DAMMIT! I DIDN'T MEAN TO TELL YOU THAT!
*timothy fades away*
Emperess-sama: So we just have to find a room with a lot of water?
Bishis: *holding up roses behind emperess-sama* Yes! Yes! It's just as Emperess-sama says! *sparkling increase by 37%*
Ruri: Don't worry, I know the room well. It's quite a walk though. Let's get started.
Emperess-sama: Bishis! You will carry me!
*meanwhile, in Japan*
Ayu: I'm...safe...this is his house...
Mike: You *pant* finally *pant* stopped...
*a man in samruai armor appears*
Man: Ah?! Ayumi-chan?!!
Ayu: KOJIRO!!
*Ayu jumps into Kojiro's arms*
Mike: Uh...am I missing something here?
Kojiro: Oh? Might you be a friend of Ayumi-chan?
Mike: Unfortunately, our parents have made us a little more than friends...
Ayu: Mike! Don't you dare!! Just go back home!
Mike: No way! We need to go back to our parents and straight this whole marriage thing out!
Kojiro: MARRIAGE?!
Ayu: *nods, and looks up at Kojiro with tears in her eyes* Challenge him and defeat him for me, big brother *puppy dog smile*
Kojiro: *becomes red* OKAY THEN!
Mike: Eh!? Your brother?!
Ayu: Not really, he's just a friend who has an incest fetish.
Mike: THAT'S MORE THAN I NEEDED TO KNOW!!!
Near by hamster: Uni-uni!
Kojiro: *points at Mike with katana* I WILL KILL YOU FOR YOUR WIFE!
Mike: KYAAAAAAAH! WHY ME!?
*back to Ruri's party*
Ruri: It's empty.
*5 minutes later, next room*
Ruri: It's empty.
*5 minutes later, next room*
Ruri: It's empty.
*5 minutes later, next room*
Ruri: Oakami in a corner.
*next room*
Ruri: It's em-
Mia: Wait. Who was that in the other room?
Ruri: Oakami. An ally strong enough to destroy the lair. But let's move on. We must reach the ever forgiving water...
Mia: BAKA!
*previous room*
*Oakami is huddled in a cage in a corner of the room*
Mia: You're Oakami right? Hey, would you-
Oakami: Shhhhh...they're looking for me. Stay quiet.
Emperess-sama's Bishis: But ma'am!!
Oakami: Shhhhhhhh.....
*Ruri walks over to Oakami and whispers*
Ruri: Oakami, what are you doing?
Oakami: Playing haide and seek.
Ruri: How long have you been here?
Oakami: Uhm...*thinks* Since skit 33.
Ruri: Well, the rest of the players have been cheating. We need to go find them *glint in eye* And punish them.
Oakami: Oh, you want me to *glint in eye* punish them.
Ruri: Yes and, *glint in eye* Rivers turn me on.
Oakami: We could defeat them if we combine our powers to create *glint in eye* Uber water touga*
Mia: What the hell is up with their eyes?!
Emperess-sama: I don't know. But I wish I could do it...
Ruri: *glint in eye* Cheese.
Oakami: *glint in eye* Tap dancing.
Ruri: *glint in eye* Staple gun.
Oakami: *glint in eye* NES.
*back at Japan*
*Mike and Kojiro are standing in a grassy field. Ayu is watching from a distance*
Mike: One question. Why a grass field?
Kojiro: Many famous samuri have fought battles on grassy fields.
Mike: Samurai!?
Ayu: Kojiro-neesan is a samurai. He'll tear you to pieces. Nothing personal Mike, but I just don't want to be married to you, and besides, you had you chance to leave.
Mike: KILLING ME ISN'T A SOLUTION!
Kojiro: Yes it is! Observe! *draws his sword and leaps at Mike*
Mike: EEEEYAH!!!
*Mike dodges multiple sword attacks*
Mike: Shit!
Kojiro: Just hold still!
Mike: At least give me a sword!
Ayu: Go Kojiro-neesan!
Mike: SHIT! I'VE GOTTA RUN!
*Mike runs*
Kojiro: ah! A race to the coast is it?! I ACCEPT! *Kojiro chases Mike*
Ayu: Shit! If they get 20 miles away, I'll blow up! *Ayu chases them*
Mike: KYAHH! WHY IS EVERYONE CHASING ME?!
Kojiro: Ha! The beach is arriving soon! Our race will be at an end! Then we will duel!
Mike: Ack! The ocean!
*Mike runs across the water*
Kojiro: What technique! He is truely a worthy opponent! *Kojiro follows Mike on the water*
Ayu: How do they do that?! Shit!
*Ayu swims after them*
Mike: Geez! We'll reach China at this rate!
*30 minutes later*
Mike: KYAH! It's China!
Kojiro: Ha! China! They must have a suitable battlefield here!
Ayu: Barely...keeping...up!
Mike: Dammit! I'll just run all the way home if I have to!
Kojiro: WHAT?! That is unacceptable! *stops Mike* Enough! We will fight here...a neutral territory.
Mike: But...*looks around* Oh shit! Anywhere but here! This is... THE CURSED SPRINGS TRAINING GROUND!
Kojiro: I do not care! This will be fine! Let us begin! *Kojiro jumps at Mike*
Mike: EEKS! *Mike dodges left and Kojiro falls into a spring*
Ayu: Ugh...*wierly reaches the end of the cursed springs training ground* Wha..what the hell is going on now?
Chinese tour guide: Oh! Is very sad story. Samurai man fall into "Spring of cursed troll thingey from another dimension".
Ayu: AH! Where the hell did you come from?!
Chinese tour guide: 1500 year ago...
*Flashback*
Utena: Anthy...
Anthy: Utena...
Utena: Anthy...
Anthy: Utena...
*off to the side near a spring, Chu Chu eats a cookie* Ack!
*Chu Chu's cookie falls into a spring and Chu Chu jumps in after it*
*Anthy and Utena make good use of the nearby rose bushes*
*Chu Chu drows trying to eat his cookie underwater*
Anthy: Ah! Ah! AHHHHH! YES! REVOLUTIONIZE MY PANTS UTENA-SAMA!!!
Utena: Okay! I'm GONNA USE MY SWORD OF DIOS NOW!!
*end flashback*
Chinese tour guide: And that's what happened.
Ayu: That's disturbing...AND IT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHERE YOU CAME FROM!!!
*Kojiro pops out of the lake as Chu Chu*
Kojiro: Chu...C-CHU!?
Mike: Heh, heh, heh...
Kojiro: *sweatdrops* chu... *turns to Ayu* CHU! CHU!
Ayu: Hrmph, weakling! Save yourself.
Kojiro: C.....chu......CHU! *throws small rock at Ayu*
Ayu: AHHH! *Ayu falls into a spring*
Mike: HEY! Don't throw rocks at girls!
*Mike throws boulder on Kojiro*
Mike: Ha! There! Hey Mister!! What spring is that?
Chinese tour guide: Worst spring possible! "Spring of drowned love struck girl"!
*Ayu resurfaces*
Ayu: Ah! That was close! *Sees Mike*
Chinese tour guide: Love struck girl drowned there 500 year ago. Now, whoever fall in spring becomes lovey toward the first person they see afterward!
Ayu: Ah...*turns red* M...Mike...
Mike: Ah shit...I'm afraid of agressive girls...
Chinese tour guide: It could be worse! She could unwillingly be your wife!
Mike: *looks at ring* Ah....shit....
*Ayu jumps on Mike*
Ayu: MY MIKE! Let's never fight again!!
Mike: Ugh, Mr. Chinese tour guide, where's the Great Wall from here?
*Chinese tour guide points behind Mike at the great wall, loacted not 20 feet away*
Mike: Oh..
Ayu: Mike, honey, let's have babies!!
Mike: Now you're worse than the old Doujin Girl!
*Part of the Great Wall suddenly explodes*
*5 minutes earlier*
Mia: Ha! With Oakami's help, we have successfully reached you!
Aki: WHAT?! But how did you get past all of my minions?!
Mia: WE...uh....how did we do that? It seems like we just skipped a lot of plot while concentrating on Mike and Ayu.
Emperess-sama: I remember. Most of them we're just annoying, but my Bishis just started hugging them, molesting them, and-
Aki: Okay, okay, I've already got too many bad pictures. But, I BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THIS!
*Kitsune appears from the shadows*
Kitsune: HA! Minions! Appear as well!
*Cat girls appear*
Ruri: So...you betrayed us for cat girls...
Kitsune: Yes! I joined Aki in the face of impending doom so that I could get my cat girls back!
Aki: HA! You can't hurt your friend!
Emperess-sama: Kitsune! Hell!
Kitsune: But...cat girls....
Emperess-sama: HEEL!
Kitsune: *reluctantly* Hai...
Emperess-sama: When we win, you can have your cat girls back.
Kitsune: Yay!
Aki: What?! Damn! THen I have one more trick up my sleeve! ICCHIRO!
*Icchiro jumps out of no where*
Icchiro: HA! I like H!
Oakami: AH! YOU WERE THE SEEKER DURING HIDE AND SEEK! YOU WON'T FIND ME BITCH!
*silence*
Icchiro: But...you're right in front of me...
Oakami: Damn! Then I'll send you somewhere that you won't be able to see me! DIMENSIONAL HOLE, TOUGA!!!!
*Oakami pokes Icchiro*
Icchiro: Eh? *disappears*
Aki: Oh...crap...but ha! I can't be killed easily! YOU DO NOT POSSES THE CORRECT EQUIPMENT!
Doujin Girl: Let's see if Rocket Propelled Grenades are enough! *pulls out an RPG Launcher*
Mia: Oh yeah! Doujin Girl had so few lines, I forgot we took her with us!
Doujin Girl: Suck on lead bitch.
*fires the RPG. wall explodes*
Mia: What power...
Emperess-sama: Wait! Isn't that CHINA out there?!
Ruri: Yes. This lair is quite large.
Aki: HA! I am undamaged!
*clouds part and sunrays hit Aki*
Aki: AHHHH! SUNLIGHT! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!!
*Mike climbs into the hole in the wall*
Mike: Hey! It's the lair!
Mia: AH!
Kitsune: Look! It's Mike!
*cat girls cuddle Kitsune*
Oakami: But, where's Ayu?
*Ayu jumps up and glomps Mike*
Ayu: AHH~! Mike!!
Mike: Wuragh! I'm off balance!
Aki: AHH! *points at Mike and Ayu* THEY WANT TO EAT MY LIVER!!!
*Aki melts*
Everyone: Yay.
*Mike and Ayu fall into the water below*
Mike: Hey...this water is pretty warm...and stickey...and...what the?! Stickey!?
Ruri: It may not be...100% water anymore..
Mike and Kitsune: Eww....
Mia and Emperess-sama: Wha? I don't get it.
*Ayu pops up*
Ayu: AH! I'm back to normal! *turns to Mike* MIKE! YOU WANTED ME TO FALL INTO THAT SPRING! DIDN'T YOU!?
Mike: KYAAAAHH! NO! NO I DIDN'T!
*New guy magically shows up*
New Guy: Hi. I'm Steve.
Everyone: Hi Steve!
*edited for time*
*Steve dies*
Ayu: Wow...that was....long.
Mike: Yep. Let's hope we never have to do that again.
Oakami: Yay! No more new characters!
Ruri: Rivers turn me on.

Skit 40:
Putting Aki behind us.....failed!

*Meanwhile, John and Celes lay on the floor of another part of the lair beaten up*
John: Gaah! How did it end up like this?
Celes: It's like our epic battle was skipped over all together...



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c2003 Naze Nani Productions; Michael Reichelt. Leagal blah blah blah, I don't really know what goes here, just make it up for yourselves. Just know that if you use something from here without my permission that I will purchase rabid dogs and they will eat you gladly. Misu Vena Hanna Hanna Ha.