The Adventures of Mike

Skit 21:

*In Mike's room*
Mike: It was nice at first, but...
*Flashback*
Mike: I'm back! Yay!
Everyone: Yay.
*End flashback*
Mike: Now no one's here...and looking back on the last dozen skits...ugh...horrible...I wonder if there's anything we can do? hmm...hey! Maybe Doujin Girl! If we turn her back on, maybe we can be funny again!
*Mike looks at Doujin Girl, turned off in a corner*
Mike: Doujin Girl! Switch on!
*silence*
Mike: Now that I think about it...just how did we turn her off? Maybe if I call Ayu...*Dials Ayu's number*
*click*
Ayu: Hello?
Mike: Ah! Ayu! It's me!
Ayu: Oh. Mike, now's a bad time. We're trying to get Kitsune down.
Mike: Oh yeah, you're part of a sentai force now! How's that going?
Ayu: Well, we're having trouble with the yaoi HTD...but other than that, fine.
Kitsune: (In background) FOR MY ASS' SAKE! STOP LAUGHING AND GET ME DOWN!
Mike: Oh...well I'll let you get back to that then.
Ayu: Okay, I'll see you later then.
Mike: Yeah, bye Ayu.
*click*
Mike: Sigh, geez...how do you turn her on?
*Mike thinks about what he just said*
Mike: That...didn't...sound right....
*smacks his head*
Mike: Oh! Of course! We need more characters! Yeah, that must be it...I'll order some online.
*Mike logs onto AOL*
AOL: You've got plotdevices!
Mike: Yay! Plotdevices!
*offstage*
John: Damn orders...now I gotta go into the NPC closet again and recruit them.
*John goes into the NPC closet*
John: Who wants to be a player character?

Skit 22:

*John appears*
John: We apologize for what you're about to read. With that said, WELCOME! To teh NEW CHARACTER CONTEST!
*A large crowd is assembled around a stage. Many flashing lights*
John: And here's your host, ZENJIRO!
*Zenjiro appears wearing a suit with his trademark hair and teeth*
Zenjiro: Okay! Let's get started! Here to judge are our cast of judges!
*Ayu, Mike, and Ruri sit at a table*
Zenjiro: Apparantly Oakami is helping to nurse Kitsune back to health after a vicious accident at the Duklyon Cafe!
*At the hospital*
Kitsune: I wonder if Preperation H could help? I never understood what that stuff was for...
*Oakami walks in dressed as a nurse*
Oakami: Kitsune! I have to help you!
Kitsune: Oakami?! Uh.....how?
Oakami: With this! *pulls out an oversided needle*
Kitsune: KYAAAAAAAAAA-
*back to the show!*
Zenjiro: Here's the first NPC!
Boy: Uhm...uh...hello. I-I want to be a playable character..beacau-...beacuse....
*eyes roll back in head*
Boy: I AM THE DEMON AKI! YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!
*everyone blinks*
Boy: Uhm...thank you...
Zenjiro: And the score from the judges?
Mike: S!
*crowd cheers*
Zenjiro: Okay! Apparantly there isn't enough time to show everyone like that, so we'll enter the rapid fire round! GO!
Sana-chan: Ice cream! Ice cream! I love you! Ice twice is I-Ice! Ice thrice is I-I-Ice! Yummy! Cold! Melting! EEEK!*dances*
Mike: C!
Vegeta: I can pass a turd through my pants in a record time of 12 episodes.
Ayu: R!
Ruri: Rivers turn me on.
Zenjiro: EH!? How'd you get down here from the judge box?!
Makona: I am genderless!
Mike: Q!
Auga: I have *pose* 12 pears!
Mike: T!
Blonde Girl: Ohohohohohoho!
Zenjiro: You're already dead!
Dog: Arf!
Ayu: Kawaii!
Chris: Mmm...pooh bears!
*Zenjiro shoots Chris dead*
Mia: *smile* I like making muffins.
Mike: Y!
Man and Woman: Hi! We're parents!
Ayu: Worrisome!
Icchiro: Icchiro Keisuke! 18 years old! And I like H!
Mike: Blue!
Guu: Stop complaining and hire me dammit.
Yaw: Lemonade scares me.
Himegoto: I'm- *is eaten by Guu*
Guu: Yay! Cool and hip!
*Everyone dances*
Skit 22: Normalcy
....failed!
Mike: Sigh, it's hopeless...

Skit 23:

Mike: A tournament?
Oakami: Yeah! I'm sponsering it! You wanna join up?
Mike: hmmm...perhaps.
Oakami: Perhaps?
Mike: Explain a bit more in detail.
Oakami: There will be 12 rounds! Each round, two contestants will duel for the ultimate prize, the rose groom's hand in marriage!
Mike: Don't you mean rose 'bride'?
Oakami: Tee hee....
*In the back*
Kitsune: Ugh..............hey, why am I tied to a bed....and...am I wearing a tuxeudo?!
*anyways*
Oakami: I say what I mean! *smiles*
Mike: Well....okay, I'm game. Send the first opponent.
Oakami: Sure thing.
*Oakami walks off and Mike pulls out a sword*
Mike: Heh, heh, heh.
*A boy appears carrying a deck of cards*
Mike: Ah ha! So you are my first opponent! I AM MIKE!
Boy: Uh...I'm Jake...what are you doing with a sword?
Mike: Once the combatants have named themselves, the battle has begun!
*Mike rushes the boy and decapitates him*
Mike: An easy victory...
*20 minutes later*
Mike: Geez...sure are taking their time...
*Girl walks over*
Girl: Hi, I'm- OH MY GAWD! *points at Jake's body* YOU KILLED HIM!
Mike: *looks at body*.....No I didn't.
Girl: You're holding a bloody sword!
Mike: *pauses* That's because.......the sword killed him.
Girl: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?!
Mike: It was a duel! The tournament! Remember?!
Girl: IT'S A YU-GI-OH TOURNAMENT!
*silence*
Mike: Dammit...*walks away*
*at the awards ceremony*
*Kitsune and Oakami are on-stage*
Kitsune: Sigh, why am I here...
Oakami: And the winner of the Rose Groom is-
Kitsune: WHAT?! I'm the prize??
Oakami: Yep! *knocks Kitsune down via 'fan whap'* The winner is: MIKI!
*Kitsune finally gets back up, and is glomped by a short pink haired kid in a sailor fuku*
Kitsune: Eh? Oh, it's just a little girl.
*Miki looks up to reveal a boy's face*
Kitsune: What the-?!
Miki: Sempai...*grope*
Kitsune: KYAAAAAAA!
Skit 23: Dueling Mishaps
....failed!

Skit 24:

*in the Mad Scientist's lab*
*Smoke clears*
Mad Scientist: You need me to do WHAT?!
Mike: Yeah, turn on Doujin Gi- I mean, START UP Doujin Girl again.
Mad Scientist: But last time we did that, she followed you around until she destryed the world!
Mike: Yeah, but there's really nothing left to do about plot points...so will you?
Mad Scientist: Of course! I can make imporvments too! Her OS needs to be upgraded after all!
Mike: Yay! So what do we need to do?
Mad Scientist: First, it'll take a really big amount of power to start her up again, so...*points to a 80 ft. generator in the corner* we'll hook her up to that!
Mike: Wow! I didn't know you had a generator!
Mad Scientist: I don't! It's actually a cardboard cut out! It's really just a wall socket!
Mike: Ah! I see!
Dog: Arf.
Mike: Eh? I didn't know you had a dog.
Mad Scientist: I don't.
Mike: Oh...
Mad Scientist: Well, she's plugged in, we'll load her with a new OS right now.
*Doujin Girl springs to life*
Doujin Girl: 01101011010010100-
Mad Scientist: Damn! Linux is a no-go! Let's try the Mac OS!
Doujin Girl: All. Your. Ba-
Mike:Horrible! Damn macintosh voice synthesis program!
Mad Scientist: Okay then, we'll load up Windows Final Edition! But, we don't have much power left!
Mike: Where do you get your power anyways?
*Meanwhile all of Tokyo blacks out*
Mad Scientist: That is not important! I'm loading Windows!
Doujin Girl: AH! Maximum performance! Now I can-can-can-can-can-
Mike: Oh no! What's wrong?!
Mad Scientist: It's a DNS ERROR! OH NO! BLUESCREEN OF DEATH! Quick! We need to hard reset! Mike! Pull the power cord!
Mike: Right! *Mike pulls out hte plug from the wall and then puts it back in*
Doujin Girl: !!!
Mad Scientist: Wait!
Mike: What?
Mad Scientist: We didn't have enough time to load her with a new OS!
*Doujin Girl walks around*
Mike: Uh...should she be moving around without an OS?
Mad Scientist: No...she shouldn't...unless...
*Doujin Girl walks up to Mike*
Doujin Girl: Douji?
*Silence*
Mad Scientist: Unless she's a Chobits!
Doujin Girl: *Smiles* Douji!
Skit 24: Goin' way too far!
....failed!


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c2003 Naze Nani Productions; Michael Reichelt. Leagal blah blah blah, I don't really know what goes here, just make it up for yourselves. Just know that if you use something from here without my permission that I will purchase rabid dogs and they will eat you gladly. Misu Vena Hanna Hanna Ha.