The Adventures of Mike
Skit 25:
*Mike's room. Mike and Doujin Girl are on the floor looking at each other....fully clothed....perverts*
Mike: Geez...what am I gonna do with you?
Doujin Girl: Douji?
Mike: Sigh...that's all you can say, huh?
*sound of a door closing downstairs*
Female voice: Mike! We're home!
Mike: Mom? Dad?....HOME?! *looks at Doujin Girl* Oh shit! Mom and Dad'll get the wrong idea!
*Mike's mind*
Mom: Mike! Who is this in your room?!
Dad: Son, you just can't do things like this...
Mom and Dad: Punishment, AUNT HUG!
*a fat woman glomps Mike and pinches him*
Mike: NO!
*End Mike's scenario*
Mike: Oh geez...I'm fucked...
*Mom and Dad suddenly appear behind Mike*
Mom: Mike! Who is this in your room?!
Dad: Son, you just can't do things like this...
Mike: Uhmm...ah....don't you....recognize....YOUR LONG LOST DAUGHTER?!
Mike's inner voice: You idoit! They'd never believe that in a million years!
Mom: Of course! How could we forget?!
Dad: Ah! We're home honey!
Doujin Girl: Douji?
Mike: HUH?!
*At Ayu's house. Note: The following translated via fish of translation*
Ayu's Mom: Ayu, we've got something to tell you...
Ayu's Dad: While we were on vacation, we met another couple, a nice American couple.
Ayu's Mom: And well, we each fell in love with the other's partner and...
Ayu's Dad: We've decided to swap partners!
Ayu: .....WHAT ABOUT ME?! What about how I feel about this?!
Ayu's Mom: Of course! That's why we'll keep the children under their father's names and we'll all live together!
Ayu: Wait...so they have a kid too?
Ayu's Dad: Yep! It's a boy about your age! I heard he knows some japanese too!
Ayu: .......
*Mike's House*
Mike: That's fucked up.
Doujin Girl: Douji?
Mike's Mom: So you'll go along with it, right?
Mike's Dad: Not that you really have a choice...
Mike: Ugh...dammit...I'm allying with their kid to stop you guys. You're insane.
Doujin Girl: Douji?
Skit 25:
Marmalade Chobit......failed!
Skit 26:
*At the aquarium*
Mike: Wow! I-
John: STOP!
Mike: Eh? John?! When did you get back onstage?
John: Just now. I have to warn you about today's skit!
Mike: ...John, we're starting a story arc. This isn't the time to disrupt plot continuity.
John: That isn't the point! Mike!
Mike: Yeah, yeah, whatever. *Pushes John off stage*
John: Hey! Wait!
Mike: Ahem! Wow! I wonder if these turtles like it-
John: WAIT!
Mike: Urgh...
John: Mike, you can't do a 26th skit.
*Silence*
Mike: What-..Why the hell not?!
John: Need you ask?! Evangelion, Excel Saga, Outlaw Star, Guu, Trigun, Fruits Basket!
Mike: I dun get it.
John: They all had 26 episodes! If you do a 26th skit, then it'll be your last!
Mike: That's the dumbest reason I've ever heard. And even if we stopped this one, the next skit we do will be the 26th instead!
John: No it won't! Because we're doing the 26th skit now!
Mike: ...so...then aren't we doing the last skit right now any way?
John: OF COURSE NOT! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!
Mike: Argh! Fine! I could be at a pub right now...
*Mike leaves*
John: Whooo!
*John break dances to the theme song*
Skit 26:
Marmalade Interruptions.....failed!
Skit 27:
*At the aquarium*
Mike: Wow! I wonder if the turtles-
Ayu: Eh? Who's there?
Mike: AH! Ayu! Konbanwa!
Ayu: Uh...I have a translator fish now...
Mike: OH yeah, it's hard to get used to that.
Ayu: *nervous laugh* Yeah it is...
*Uneasy silence*
Mike: So...what brings you here?
Ayu: Ah, I find it's easier to think about things here...you?
Dog: Arf.
Mike: Yeah...same thing. I mean, parents...they're just so...GRR!
Ayu: Yeah, I know! It's like they can't just give you a break!
Mike and Ayu: Why must my life be so difficult?!
*silence*
Mike: Heh...well..uh...do you want me...to walk you home?
Ayu: Ah...no. No, I should be fine on my own...but thanks...
Mike: Oh...right...
*15 minutes later*
Ayu: I said you didn't have to walk me home!
Mike: I know! I'm not!
Ayu: Hrmph! How nice of you!
Mike: Ah! That's mean...It's just that, my house is in this direction too!
Ayu: No it isn't.
Mike: We moved recently.
Ayu: Yeah right, when recently?
Mike: Today actually.
Ayu: Oh really?
Mike: And what about you? Your house was back there! *points behind himself randomly*
Ayu: If you must know, I moved today too...
*both of them stop at the door of a large house*
Mike and Ayu: Why'd you stop here?
*inside, 5 minutes later*
Mike: ...
Ayu: ...
Ayu and Mike's parents in unison: Oh! You're home! And it looks like you've already met!
Mike's Dad: She's a cute one isn't she Mike? Go get her tiger...
Mike: Please tell me that you don't really mean that...
Mike's Dad: Do you need to hear all those words?
Ayu: You realize I'm right here...don't you?
Ayu's Mom: Why don't you two come with us? *motions to Mike's Mom* We did some great things to your rooms!
*Everyone walks down a hall to an empty orange room*
Ayu: So...where's my room?
Ayu's Mom: This is it.
*Ayu jumps in and looks around with a shocked look on her face*
Ayu: WHAT?!WHERE'S ALL MY STUFF?!
Ayu's Mom: We threw it all out!
Mike's Mom: In fact Mike, we did nearly the same thing to your room!
Mike: WHAT?! WHERE'S MY ROOM?!
*Ayu, frozen in shock does not join everyone as they round 2 corners and open a door to a room with orange walls and a bunk bed set up...with a very shocked Ayu on the other side of the room*
Mike: ...Mom....This is Ayu's room.
Ayu's Dad: Yes, but now it's your room too!
*silence*
*Ayu and Mike stare at each other*
*shock of realization*
Ayu and Mike: KYAAH!
*Doujin Girl wanders down the hall*
Doujin Girl: Douji?
Ayu: What the- DOUJIN GIRL?!
Doujin Girl: *smiles* Douji!
Ayu: Oh...she's broken...
Ayu's Mom: This will be her room too! You're all sharing!
*All parents smile*
Parents: Ne~!
Ayu and Mike: KYAAAAH!
Doujin Girl: Douji?
Skit 27:
Marmalade Tea.....failed!
Skit 28:
*Ben Gardner appears*
Ben: Hi, today I'm here to show how La Blue Girl is disturbing, and-
*is pulled away by a nearby shrub*
Voice of Ben offscreen: Arugh! No! Not the face! No! NOT THERE EITHER!
*a puuchuu walks on screen*
Puuchuu: Divine retrubution!
*chomping sound*
Ben: ARUGH!
*Away from the tree sex*
Dog: Arf.
*At Miki's house. Miki is taking Kitsune on a tour of his room*
Miki: And, sempai, this is my closet.
Kitsune: Is it the same one you came out of?
Miki: *Blushes profusely* Oh sempai! You're so funny!
Kitsune: Not the desired reaction...
*Miki opens the closet*
Josh: Ah! New people!
Kitsune: Keh?
Miki: This is Josh, he's already come out of the closet, but he still lives in there.
Josh: And you...you've got a certian air about you...you remind me of...tenticle sex...
*A sunflower sex demon chases Ben in the background*
Kitsune: I'm not like that...really.
Josh: Hmmm...I think you are.
Kitsune: I'M NO-
Miki: I agree with Josh.
Kitsune: BUT I'M NO-
Josh: Well, let's find out. Omega yami pounce!
*Josh and Miki pounce the screaming Kitsune*
*Elsewhere*
Dog: Arf.
Old Man: Times are tough.
Dog: Arf.
Old Man: Times are tough.
Dog: Arf.
Old Man: Times are tough.
*to a place where something interesting is going on*
Mike: Ayu, is this really nessicary?
Ayu: OF COURSE! A boy and a girl should never sleep under the same roof after the age of twelve!
Mike: Uhm...but-
Ayu: No buts about it! I won't stand for this! It's just dumb!
Doujin Girl: Douji?
*Ayu begins drawing a line across the center of the room*
Mike: Hey! What about Doujin Girl?! Where's she gonna sleep?!
Ayu: ....You're right.
*Draws the line closer to Mike, giving him very little room*
Mike: Hey! Ayu! Wait! Why are you mad at ME?!
Ayu: JUst shut up!
Doujin Girl: *copys Ayu* Douji!
Mike: AHHHHHH!
Ayu: I'm going to go change in the bathroom! DON'T YOU DARE PEEK OR CROSS THAT LINE!
Mike: Ayu!!
*Ayu leaves*
Mike: Doujin Girl! Help me!
Doujin Girl: Douji?
Mike: Look, *points to himself* I'm Mike. Help Mike.
Doujin Girl: *points at Mike* Mi...ke?
Mike: Yes! That's right! I'm Mike!
Doujin Girl: *points at Mike* Mike!
Mike: Yes! Now help me! Help Mike!
Doujin Girl: *points at celing* Mike! Help Mike!
Mike: ...uh...No.
Doujin Girl: *points at various other objects* Mike! Help Mike!
*Ayu returns to the room*
Doujin Girl: *points at Ayu's dresser* Mike! Help Mike!
*silence*
*rose bush sex demon chases Ben in the background*
Ayu: Mike...helped himself....*blushes*to my underwear drawer?
Mike: Eh? NO! NO I DIDN'T!!!
Ayu: *Burning rage* You...YOU PERVERT!
*Ayu uses the chalk to draw Mike into a corner*
Mike: Wha?! Hey! Now I can't even sit down!
Ayu: So? YOu're the underwear theif you know...
Mike: I am not!
Ayu: Yeah right. I'm going to sleep. *death glare* And if you try anything I'll KILL you.
*Mike frantically shakes his head*
Ayu: Good. *takes the translator fish out of her hair and crawls into bed* Oyasuminasai.
Mike: Wait! How am I supposed to sleep?!
Ayu: Mezameshi tokeiga nakute mo asawakuru!
Skit 28:
Marmalade Irony....failed!
Skit 29:
*At Miki's house. Josh and Miki are naked on the floor...Kitsune, (clothed) is in a corner*
Kitsune: When will the torture end?*sudders* More importantly...what will happen next?
*Floating stack of pancakes appears*
Pancakes: Kitsune...Kitsune....
Kitsune: Oh god, they're waking up again! Remember guys, no means no! So- *sees the pancakes*
Pancakes: Well, that was the wrong place to walk in on a conversation.
Kitsune: Ah geez, now I'm hallucinating about pancakes...
Pancakes: No Kitsune, I'm real. I'm your spirit guide and protector.
Kitsune: Bull, I've got you on two points! One! If you were my spirit guide, then why aren't you some animal? Or girl on an oar?! Two! If you were my protector, then where have you been the LAST FIFTEEN SKITS?!
Pancakes: One: YOu watch too much anime, you know, in the real world, they use tree branches. Two: I was escaping certian doom at a waffle house. Now then, Kitsune, Danger will always be a part of your life, but to make it up to you, here is a rare item. Perhaps it can lead you to a better life.
*Kitsune gains item: Save crystal*
Kitsune: Uhm...okay...but can you give me my anal virginity back?
Pancakes: That is something you must accomplish on your own. Goodbye Kitsune, and my the force be with you~!
Kitsune: THAT'S STARWARS!! Sigh, a save crystal huh?
*Kitsune leaves the house and walks outside*
Kitsune: Hrmph, whatever...*tosses save crystal on the ground* Sigh...
*A save point pops up from the crystal*
Save Point: When at the save point, you can access the [Save] and [Load] features from the Menu!
Kitsune: Save and........load?
*Kitsune tries to remember the last time he saved his game*
Kitsune: Oh yeah! It wasn't too long ago...but...I had that amulet...that always brought danger to me...
*Kitsune shrugs and reloads his last save*
Kitsune: SIgh, now I'll just have to get rid of this amulet again...
*Oakami and Ruri show up*
Oakami: Yay! Touga!
Ruri: Welcome back.
Kitsune: Yeah, but...
*Army of cat girls appears*
Cat Girl: WE ARE THE TRIBE OF VERY SEXY CAT GIRLS WHO HAVE COME FROM THE ANIME UNIVERSE TO RECLAIM YOUR AMULET!
Kitsune: Anime?! What anime do you come from?
Cat Girl: Venus 5!
Kitsune: ......Oakami! Ruri! Go! I'll hold them off!
Oakami: No! It's too dangerous!
Kitsune: Please! Just go! Can't I have a LITTLE bit of danger?!
*Kitsune leaps at the cat girls valiantly*
Oakami: uguu...poor Kitsune....aknowlege his final wish and get out of here while we can...
Ruri: Or we could stay and watch...
*Pause*
*Oakami and Ruri burst out laughing*
Oakami: Heh, why would we do something like that? I have people who need poking!
Ruri: *nods* And there's an ice carving competition soon...
Skit 29:
Marmalade Foxes and Cat Girls.....failed!
Skit 30:
*Ayu, Mike and Doujin Girl's room*
Ayu: Yawn! *Puts the fish in her hair* AH! I slept well! I wonder if Mike tried anything?
*Ayu hops out of the top bunk of the bunk bed and looks over at Mike. Mike is hanging in a sleeping bag that is nailed to the wall*
Ayu: Heh, what an idoit. *smiles* But...maybe I was too hard on him last night?
*Ayu walks over to Mike*
Ayu: Wakey wakey! Hey! Wake up! *pause* Dammit! Wake up! Grr....
*Mike barely gains consciousness*
Mike: Ugh...oh...Ayu....ohayo....good night....*Mike closes his eyes again*
Ayu: Grr....HEY YOU! GET UP!
*Ayu unzips the sleeping bag half way and turns bright red*
Ayu: HEY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET THAT UP YOU PERVERT!
Mike: Ah! I can't help it! It's morning!
Ayu: Oh god! Of all the men in the world, I have to live with this one!
Mike: I gotta take a wizz, or something...
*Mike gets out of the sleeping bag*
Ayu: Hey! Stop!
Mike: Eh?
*Ayu points at the chalk line*
Ayu: YOu aren't allowed to step over that line!
Mike: What do you want me to do?! Pee in the corner?!
Ayu: God! How perverted can you get?!
Dog: Arf!
Doujin Girl: Arf?
Mike: Geez, you've been really cruel recently, is this what happens when you start your peroid?
Ayu: WHAT WAS THAT?!
*Ayu performs backhanded bitchslap of doom on Mike*
Mike: Ow ow ow ow ow!
Ayu: Serves you right!
Doujin Girl: Arf!
*Ayu and Mike look at Doujin Girl*
Ayu: ...You're in charge of teaching her how to talk today.
Mike: What?! Why me?!
Ayu: You're right. You'd just make her strip...
Mike: NO I WOULD NOT!
Doujin Girl: Arf!
*Back at the save crystal*
Kitsune: Ha! I have defeated your entire tribe in ecchi-fu! You will all be claimed as my cat girl slaves!
Cat Girls: Yes, master.
Kitsune: WHoo! Time to save my game!
Skit 30:
Marmalade Morning.....failed!
Skit 31:
*at the breakfast room of the Mike-Ayu house*
Ayu: Try anything else, and I will kill you...
Mike: *to himself* I think I liked her more when she didn't have that translator fish in her hair...cause now she won't shut up!
Ayu: I HEARD THAT!
*Ayu jumps, spins, and kicks Mike in the face, slamming him against the wall*
Mike: Why?
Ayu: Hrmph...
*Mike's dad walks in with Ayu's dad*
Dads: Yawn, good morning...
Mike: Uh...yeah...
*Ayu's mom walks in with Mike's mom*
Moms: Good morning...
Ayu: Uh...yeah...
Dog: Bark!
Doujin Girl: Arf!
*Males sit at once side of the table and females at the other*
Doujin Girl: Arf!
*Mike and Ayu look at each other*
Mike: Uhm.....dad.......Ayu's dad....
Ayu: Err...mom.....Mike's mom...
Mike and Ayu: Please tell us you're hetrosexual.
Parents: We're not. *the parents smile*
Mike and Ayu: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT?!
Parents: We're not. *smiles again*
*silence*
Ayu: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
*Ayu leaps toward Mike with a sword*
Mike: YEARGH! WHERE'D THAT SWORD COME FROM?!
*Elsewhere*
Kitusne: Ah, I've saved my game, I've got a tribe of cat girl sex slaves, what could go wrong?....SHIT! I JUST HAD TO SAY THAT!
*nothing happens*
Kitsune: Whooo! I rule!
*giant ship appears from the sky*
Kitsune: DAMMIT!
*mechanicial tenticles come down from the sky and begin raping the cat girls*
Kitusne: Hey! That's my job! Now you've done it!
*Kitsune begins chanting*
Kitsune: Now you're gonna get it, I'VE GOT THE ULTIMATE SUMMON MATERIA! I SUMMON: THE PLOT HOLE!
*A giant black hole covers the sky. The ship is dragged in, while small specks in the sky fall out*
Kitsune: Yay! I won!
*victory dance*
John: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *John falls out of the plot hole and hits the ground*
Mexican Girl: AHHHHHHHHHHH! *Mexican girl lands on top of John*
Blonde Girl: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *is impaled on nearby flagpole*
Wannabe Haxxor: w0000000000000t! *wannabe haxxor lands on Mexican Girl*
Pokute: *pokute scream. Pokute lands on wannabe haxxor*
Makona: AHHHHHHHH! *lands on Pokute*
Mia: AHHHHHHH! Oh, I've got wings! *lightly lowers herself to the ground*
Icchiro: OJO~SAN! *lands on Makona*
Boy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *lands on Icchiro*
Everyone who was landed on: Uguu.....
Kitsune: Wow. What a massive infusion of characters...
Skit 31:
Marmalade Ending.....Failed!
Yaw: AHHHHHHHHH! *lands on Blonde Girl and subsequently is impaled by the flagpole*
Go back to the Main Menu
c2003 Naze Nani Productions; Michael Reichelt. Leagal blah blah blah, I don't really know what goes here, just make it up for yourselves. Just know that if you use something from here without my permission that I will purchase rabid dogs and they will eat you gladly. Misu Vena Hanna Hanna Ha.