The Adventures of Mike
Skit 1:
The adventures of Mike:
*a mad scientist's lab*
Mike: Hi Mr. Mad Scientist, do you have anything I can have today?
Mad Scientist: Hmm hmm....heh....ha..ha....BWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!
Mike: *sweatdrops* Mr....Mad Scientist?
Mad Scientist: I HAVE CREATED THE ULTIMATE BIO ANDROID!
Mike: WOW! Can I have it?
Mad Scientist: Sure, why not?
Mike: YAY! Is it a cat girl?
Mad Scientist: No, cat girls are too overdone...
Mike: Then a dragon girl?
Mad Scientist: Too fantasy-ish...
Mike: Well what is it then?
Mad Scientist: BEHOLD! *throwing aside a curtain that just appeared* THE DOUJIN GIRL!
*Doujin girl appears to be a normal girl with robotic parts near her ears*
Mike: What does it do?
Mad Scientist: It is a robot to simulate a creature that is half girl and half doujinshi!
Mike: Is that why it looks sketchy?
Mad Scientist: YES! Because it is not official it's FAN MADE!
Mike: Wow. So, where's the start button?
Mad Scientist: *pulls out a box with a dial on it* RIGHT HERE!
Mike: Why are you always talking in caps?!
Mad Scientist: DOUJIN GIRL HAS THREE SETTINGS! ONE: OLDER SISTER IN A SAILOR FUKU! (think sailor moon outfits)
Doujin Girl: Nice to meet you! *sparkles*
Mike: *gets a nosebleed* What else?
Mad Scientist: THEN THERE'S SUPER POWERED FIGHTER OF JUSTICE MODE!
Doujin Girl: *glare at wall* EVIL FOE! YOU SHALL PERISH! *runs toward wall* DOUJIN PUNCHI! *wall is destroyed*
Mike: Wow! What's the last mode Mr. Mad Scientist?
Mad Scientist: I'M GLAD YOU ASKED!
Mike: Why wouldn't I?
Mad Scientist: H-DOUJINSHI MODE!!!!
Doujin Girl: *rubs against Mike suggestively* Ah, Mike-sama....ahhhhhhhhh.....
Mike: AHHH! CHANGE IT BACK! CHANGE IT BACK!
Mad Scientist: HAHA! *breaks dial* OOPS! *pose* I HAVE BROKEN THE DIAL!
Mike: YOU SOUND HAPPY ABOUT IT!
Doujin Girl: Mike-sama...*looks up at Mike with glimmering eyes* Make me a woman....
Mike: *runs screaming from the room* WHY ME?!?!!!!!!
Skit 2:
Mike: It's a new episode! Therefore we can all assume that I got away unscathed somehow.
*Behind Mike is a giant mushroom*
Mike: Wow, I wonder what kind of fun I'll find here.
*Mike climbs the mushroom as cars drive by aimlessly*
Mike: Wow it sure is high up here.
*Doujin Girl appears*
Doujin Girl: AH HA! I found you Mike-sama! OH NO! That giant mushroom is abducting you! Don't worry! I'll save you and then you shall bestow anything I ask for as thanks! *Doujin Girl's eyes sparkle thinking of obviously H-things to do*
Mike: KYAA! WHY ME?!
*Doujin girl begins to beat on the mushroom when a small yellow spherical shaped alien appears*
Gema (Yellow alien): Oh no! I've lost my way!-gema!
Doujin Girl: Who are you?! And why are you saying -gema after your sentences?!
Gema: Hmm, you remind me of a badly drawn comic I saw in our store Gamers once, only you're wearing a bad Anna Miller's knock off!-gema!
Doujin Girl: *glare* MOUTH BAZOOKA!
*blasts Gema with a rocket that launches from her mouth* Ha that took care of you! Now, *returning her attention to the mushroom* COME TO ME, MIKE MY LOVE!
Mike: WHY CAN'T I JUST GET A BREAK?! *a girl with short blue hair walks on stares quietly at Doujin Girl for a moment and then speaks*
Ruri: Rivers turn me on.
*silence*
*Ruri walks off and Doujin Girl continues to pound on the mushroom*
Mike: That's not comforting!
Voice: Quickly, come with us!
Mike: Who are you? *looking up*
Spore: We're the mushroom spores that live in this mushroom. We want to help you get off of the mushroom, because while you're on the mushroom, that girl down there keeps hitting the mushroom, and we just can't have that or our mushroom-
Mike: Do you have an obsession with the word 'mushroom'?
Spore: Why yes I do, but that's beside the point, come with us mushroom spore and we'll get you out of trouble.
Mike: Okay! I'm coming! I'm coming! *Mike floats upward into the mushroom while a choir sings ominously in the background*
Spore: We're just kidding, thanks for letting go of the spore though.
Mike: Eh? *Mike falls off the giant mushroom*
Doujin Girl: MIKE-SAMA! YOU'VE COME HOME TO ME!
Mike: WHY DO I HAVE TO RUN AGAIN?!
Skit 3:
*Mike's generic classroom*
Mike: Phew! Finally got away from the crazy robot girl...
Teacher: I'd like to introduce two new students today.
Doujin Girl: HELLO! I'm Doujin Girl! But you can just call me D! My likes are...well, it's not a THING, it's a person, a boy really, well, uhmm...MIKE-SAMA I LOVE YOU!
Mike: URK!
*entire class looks at Mike*
Mike: Why.........
Teacher: Uhm...yes, well, now for our other student, Ayumi, please come in.
Ayumi: Hajimemashite! Orewa, Ayumi desu! Demo, Ayu-chan younde kurasai ne!
*silence*
Doujin Girl: What the hell did you just say?!
Ayu: Oi, anta baka?
*silence*
Teacher: Ah, yes, Ayumi is a foreign exchange student from Japan. Uh...you can go sit there beside Mike and Jon.
Ayu: Hai sensei!
*silence*
*Ayu sits between Mike and Jon*
Jon: Hey, Ayumi, could you help me with my Spanish homework?
Mike: Anta baka?! She's Japanese! Not Spanish!
Ayu: WAAH! Anatawa nihongoga wakarimas!
Mike: Eh? Oh, uh...yeah, I know a little....
Ayu: Onegai...nochihodo taskuete.....
Mike: ...uh...I don't know...I have to walk home with-
Doujin Girl: MIKE-SAMA! LET'S BECOME ONE OF MIND AND BODY!
Teacher: PLEASE D! That's not an appropriate subject for class! And if you MUST talk about things like that, do it outside of school!
Mike: On second thought, definitely.
Jon: Hey, what's she saying? Is it a story about hopping the boarder to Texas?
Mike: Dammit, Jon, she's Japanese, not Mexican.
Ayu: Eh? Jon wa nanimono?
Mike: Uhm....his name is Jon Doe. We don't know how he got here, but he thinks you're Mexican.
*Ayu glares at Jon*
Ayu: Bakabakashii!
*Ayu slaps Jon*
*Jon flies through the roof and becomes an obligatory sparkle in the sky*
Skit 4:
*a park with a lake*
Mike: Sigh, my life sucks.
Ayu: Doushite?
Mike: Because I've got a robot who wants to use my body for it's own ends!
Ayu: Uguu...gomen-nasai...
Mike: No, it's my fault, I didn't mean to yell.
Ayu: *shrugs* Daijobu!
Mike: Hmm...But with my luck, something else with happen.
*Blonde girl appears*
Blonde girl: Ah! Edward! *points at Mike* I've found you!
Mike: Eh?!
Blonde girl: Now come back to my uber-rich mansion to marry me, my darling Edward! *Begins to drag Mike off*
Mike: KYAAAH! NO! I'M AGAINST FORCED MARRIAGE! AYU-CHAN! HELP! TASKUETE!
Ayu: *smiles* Iterashi!
Mike: NOOOO! AYU HIDOI! LADY! LADY! HEY! BLONDE LADY!
Blonde girl: Edward, you should know by now, my name is- WAIT! YOU'RE NOT EDWARD!
Mike: Phew...she realized it...
Blonde girl: YOU'RE HERMAN!
Mike: Eh?!
*Ayu begins laughing*
Blonde girl: Herman, you BASTARD!
Mike: No! No! I'm not Herman either!
Blonde girl: Quiet! *pulls out a sword* YOU WILL PAY!
Mike: KYAAH! No really! My name's Mike!
Blonde girl: Hrmph! You can't fool me!
*Mike runs off with Blonde girl chasing him*
Ayu: Sora hare desu demo, *points up* KUMO!
*spider drops down and blinks*
*Ayu laughs maniacally and walks after Mike*
*Doujin girl appears*
Doujin Girl: Damn, I wasn't in this one...
Skit 5:
*In front of a house*
Mike: Dammit, I've got a headache. Do I have to do this?
John: Of course!
Mike: Dammit, dammit.
*Rings door bell*
*A man comes to the door*
Mike and John: TRICK OR TREAT!
Man: .....*man falls over dead*
John: Awww, man!
Mike: It's your fault. You scared him to death.
John: Whatever let's move onto the next house.
*they move to the next house and ring the doorbell*
*a man comes to the door*
Man: You are not...
Mike and John: TRICK OR TREAT!
Man: Are you messengers from Headquarters? If so, tell them: THE WORLD IS CORRUPT! WE MUST-
*Mike slams the door*
John: What'd you do that for?
Mike: Never mind, let's just move on.
*They go to the next house and ring the doorbell*
*Doujin Girl answers the door*
Mike: ACK!
John: TRICK or- hey, aren't you D? From school?
Doujin Girl: Loading, please wait...
*A screen opens up on Doujin Girl's back which has three options: Jump on Mike-sama; Answer politely; Put it in. The first choice flashes. Doujin girl leaps onto Mike*
Doujin Girl: MIKE-SAMA!!!!!!
John: Wow, Mike, I didn't know you were getting it with D...
Mike: I'M NOT YOU PERVERT!
Doujin Girl: But you should Mike-sama...you really should....
Mike: Uh...LOOK! AN H-VIDEO IS IN YOUR HOUSE!
Doujin Girl: AH!? OH NO! I CAN'T LET MIKE-SAMA SEE IT!
*Doujin Girl jumps into the house*
John: I am very worried now.
Mike: Forget it! Let's just run!
*They run to the next house and ring the doorbell. Ayu-chan comes to the door*
Ayu: Konnichi- AH! Mike-san!
John: Are you getting it with Ayumi too?
Mike: It would be wise to shut up now...ah, Gomen Ayu-chan. Ja ne.
Ayu: *looking confused* Ah...matte ne....
*Mike and John go to the next house and ring the bell. A woman answers the door*
Mike and John: TRICK OR TREAT!
Woman: But...it's Easter....not Halloween...
John: It's JEWISH Halloween!
Woman: There...isn't a Jewish Halloween...
Mike: Dumbass...I told you....
Skit 6:
*School classroom*
Teacher: You may use this time to work on your projects on Myths and Legends.
Mike: Man...I don't know what to do for mine...maybe I'll see what other people are doing...John?
John: I'm doing the rich Mexican! He doesn't exist!
Mike: You're too obsessed with Mexicans aren't you...Well, what about you Ayu-chan?
Ayu: Fu fu fu...saishuu densetsu...*dark glare*
Mike: Eh? A-ayu-chan?
Ayu: Shoujo neko...
Mike: R-Right...what about-
Blonde Girl: OHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Mike: YOU?! Since when were you in my class?!
Blonde Girl: It doesn't matter Steve, let's just ignore your love confession and continue being good friends. Ohohohoho!
Mike: Uhm...okay...how about you D?
Ruri: ...
Mike: KYAH! YOU AREN'T D! Though, I guess I should be grateful...
Ruri: Rivers turn me on...
*Ruri leaves*
Mike: Okay...
Doujin Girl: MIKE-SAMA! I knew you would come for me!
Mike: ...Not really, but, uh, what are you doing?
Doujin Girl: A project.
Mike: On what?
Doujin Girl: Paper.
Mike: I MEAN what is your topic for your project?!
Doujin Girl: It's about the myth of you not loving me and not wanting to have my baby!
Mike: Firstly, that's a truth, not a myth. Secondly, You're a robot, how can you have a child?
Doujin Girl: *Giggle* Nothing's impossible when there's love...
Mike: Ugh...*sits back down*
Ayu: Okaerinasai.
John: So, what are you doing your project on Mike?
Mike: A me without stress...
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©2003 Naze Nani Productions; Michael Reichelt. Leagal blah blah blah, I don't really know what goes here, just make it up for yourselves. Just know that if you use something from here without my permission that I will purchase rabid dogs and they will eat you gladly. Misu Vena Hanna Hanna Ha.